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Ashlee's
Biggest
Fumble
In
the
pop
world,
Ashlee
Simpson
always
seemed
like
an
inevitability.
Riding
the
coattails
of
her
infamously
dense
sister,
Jessica,
she
parlayed
her
own
MTV
reality
show
into
a
No.
1
debut
on
the
Billboard
charts.
But
during
Tuesday
night's
Orange
Bowl
halftime
show,
a
stadium
filled
with
75,000
rowdy
football
fans
gave
Ashlee
something
that
was
probably
equally
inevitable:
a
thorough
booing.
After
a
performance
of
"La
La"
in
which
she
couldn't
even
sing
in
tune
with
her
"guide
track,"
Simpson
finally
got
the
reception
she
has
deserved
for
a
while.
Outside
of
television
studios
controlled
by
producers
and
beyond
the
reach
of
deejays
dictated
to
by
radio
programmers
are
ordinary
Americans.
And
when
a
highly
paid
star
like
Ashlee
Simpson
chokes,
they're
not
about
to
give
her
some
courtesy
applause.
That's
because
Simpson
has
flouted
one
of
the
founding
principles
of
showbiz:
Never
let
'em
see
you
sweat.
In
being
so
ill
prepared
for
the
national
stage,
she
has
become
the
Wizard
without
his
curtain,
the
Emperor
in
his
brand-new
suit.
Live
at
the
MTV
Video
Music
Awards
pre-show
in
August,
Simpson's
odd,
ear-grating
performance
left
people
talking.
During
her
first
lip-sync
snafu
on
"Saturday
Night
Live"
in
October,
she
actually
had
the
gall
to
walk
off
the
stage
and
blame
her
bandmates
for
the
miscue.
Any
performer
worth
her
salt
would
have
turned
the
sticky
situation
into
a
success.
Just
think
of
Melissa
Etheridge,
who
struggled
with
a
faulty
microphone
and
detuned
guitar
during
the
sold-out,
nationally
broadcast
Concert
for
New
York
at
Madison
Square
Garden
in
2001.
Where
Simpson
would
have
smashed
the
guitar
and
stormed
out,
Etheridge
persevered
and
the
audience
loved
her
for
it.
"What
you
want
is a
final
product
that's
fun,"
says
Sasha
Frere-Jones,
music
critic
for
The
New
Yorker.
"Everybody
uses
guide
tracks.
But
being
a
bad
sport,
walking
off
stage
and
being
a
bad
performer
-
that's
her
fault."
As
an
audience,
we
enjoy
being
beguiled.
It
was
true
100
years
ago
for
Houdini-heads,
and
it's
true
now,
even
with
the
dubious
offerings
of
David
Blaine
and
the
debunkings
of
Penn
&
Teller.
It's
such
a
pleasurable
experience
that
we'll
fork
over
our
hard-earned
cash
for
the
pleasure
of
being
bedazzled.
But
when
performers
botch
the
spectacle
or
reveal
how
they
duped
us,
we
get
angry.
That's
what
made
rotten
produce
the
bane
of
19th-century
performers
and
it's
what
drove
Milli
Vanilli
into
the
annals
of
shame.
Lately,
we've
been
besieged
by
public
shams,
from
Jason
Giambi's
alleged
steroid
use
to
never-realized
assurances
about
Iraq's
weapons
of
mass
destruction.
But
it's
hard
to
voice
our
dissatisfaction.
Ashlee
made
it
easy.
She
took
the
stage.
She
sounded
bad.
We
booed.
Yet
the
Simpson
juggernaut
charges
on.
Six
months
after
its
release,
her
debut
album,
"Autobiography,"
is
still
in
Billboard's
Top
40
and
is
closing
in
on
the
3
million
sales
mark.
Ashlee,
meanwhile,
is
unfazed
by
her
detractors.
In
the
upcoming
March
edition
of
Teen
People,
she
tells
music
editor
Zena
Burns
that
those
who
complain
about
her
"are
just
old
people
who
watch
the
news
and
don't
know
anything
about
me."
She
has
a
point
there,
since
the
teen
viewers
of
MTV's
"The
Ashlee
Simpson
Show"
got
to
see
and
hear
her
struggle
with
off-key
warbling
throughout
the
recording
of
her
album.
"They
see
her
on
the
show
and
she's
scrappy
and
she's
a
real
girl,
and
that's
someone
they
can
relate
to,"
Burns
says.
"'Here's
a
real
girl
who
makes
real
mistakes
just
like
me.
But
she
also
makes
this
kick-ass
music.'"
While
she
might
not
actually
live
up
to
the
level
of
"kick-ass,"
Simpson
does
sound
competent
on
record.
But
until
she
figures
out
how
to
take
a
stage
with
a
modicum
of
grace,
all
we
can
ask
is
that
she
stop
exposing
us
to
her
wailing
-
and
herself
to
our
ridicule.
"She
needs
to
get
on
the
road
and
perform
live
and
get
her
feet
wet,"
says
Barry
Jeckell,
managing
editor
of
Billboard.com.
"Otherwise,
I
would
say
she
has
two
strikes
against
her." |