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Ashlee
Simpson
Survives
From
the
beginning,
Ashlee
Simpson’s
career
in
music
has
played
out
like
an
American
Idol
grand
prize
package:
a
major
label
debut
record,
a
reality
TV
show
that
airs
months
prior
to
the
release
of
said
record
insuring
massive
sales,
built
in
management,
full
promotion,
image
consultants,
production
hand-holding,
the
whole
works.
In
the
last
six
months,
Simpson
has
survived
two
mortifying
episodes
of
public
ineptitude.
First
she
was
busted
on
Saturday
Night
Live
in
October
for
lip-synching.
The
carnage,
although
hilarious,
was
almost
too
gruesome
to
watch
as
she
sprang
into
the
most
awkward
jig
before
leaving
the
stage.
When
the
show
came
back
after
the
last
commercial
break,
Simpson
said,
“I
feel
so
bad.
My
band
started
playing
the
wrong
song.
I
didn’t
know
what
to
do
so I
thought
I’d
do a
hoe-down.”
To
add
irony
to
disgrace,
Simpson
had
been
quoted
in
that
very
month’s
issue
of
Lucky
magazine
adamantly
expressing
her
feelings
on
lip
synching.
“I’m
totally
against
it
and
offended
by
it.
I’m
going
out
to
let
my
real
talent
show,
not
to
just
stand
there
and
dance
around.
Personally,
I’d
never
lip-synch.
It’s
just
not
me.”
Then
there
was
the
Orange
Bowl
incident.
While
singing
during
the
halftime
show
in
January,
Simpson
chose
to
sing
without
guide
tracks
to
directly
answer
her
SNL
snafu.
This
was
a
mistake.
It
is
actually
acceptable
and
even
recommended
to
use
backing
tracks
when
performing
live
in
large,
outdoor
venues.
Simpson’s
appearance
and
staging
with
backup
dancers
seemed
to
be a
joke
all
its
own,
but
her
performance
was
a
pitch-poor
train
wreck
ending
with
the
sound
of
70,000
booing
football
fans.
What
has
many
of
us
scratching
our
heads
is
that
in
spite
of
these
episodes,
Simpson’s
star
is
intact
and
she
is
starting
her
second
round
of
15
minutes.
In
1990,
Milli
Vanilli
became
martyrs
to
the
myth
of
artistic
authenticity.
Now,
just
a
decade
and
a
half
later,
it
seems
that
the
days
of
crucifying
people
for
their
misrepresentation
have
passed.
This
development
was
too
late
to
stop
MV’s
Rob
Pilatus
from
killing
himself.
The
German
duo
had
been
used
as
attractive
stand-ins
for
aged
studio
musicians,
but
that
was
predating
the
advent
and
now
ubiquitous
use
of
Pro
Tools.
Pro
Tools
is a
computer
program
that
allows
the
user
to
record
music
digitally
and
then
go
back
through
to
correct
notes,
pitches,
lengthen
notes,
improve
vocal
quality,
etc.
Although
there
is a
lot
of
skill
involved
in
mastering
Pro
Tools,
it
has
become
popular
because
the
basics
are
easy
and
affordable.
It’s
the
industry
standard
software
for
everyone
from
major
record
producers
to
shitty
garage
bands.
Is
Ashlee
Simpson
really
that
different
from
Milli
Vanilli?
If
Pro
Tools
would’ve
been
in
common
use
when
Milli
Vanilli’s
Girl
You
Know
It’s
True
album
was
released,
they
could’ve
made
“honest”
men
out
of
Rob
and
Fab
by
letting
them
sing
on
their
own
record.
They
could’ve
kept
the
Grammy
and
they
probably
would’ve
been
launching
their
reunion
tour
and
new
album
right
about
now,
reaping
millions.
With
the
recent
crop
of
Pop
Tarts
all
over
the
charts
like
Lindsay
Lohan,
Britney
Spears
and
the
failed
Kelly
Osbourne
experiment,
the
other
question
is
how
much
does
it
even
matter
to
the
people
purchasing
records
that
they’re
buying
in
to
pre-fabricated,
image-only
artists?
In a
recent
phone
interview,
Rolling
Stone
Editor
David
Fricke
lent
his
perspective.
“People’s
tastes
have
really
gone
south.
When
American
Idol
is
the
biggest
thing
in
America
…
those
are
people
who
should
basically
be
singing
on
cruise
ships.
The
idea
that
that’s
considered
a
benchmark
of
pop
talent
and
class,
you’re
talking
about
a
whole
shift
in
American
cultural
taste.”
Asked
about
his
own
feelings
about
Simpson,
Fricke
responded
without
pause
or
sugarcoating:
“I
could
give
a
shit
about
Ashlee
Simpson.”
Co-writing
credits
are
handed
out
like
potty
training
treats
to
these
girls
for
turning
in
assigned
journals
upon
which
the
writing/producing
team
will
base
their
songs.
In
the
April
7
issue
of
Rolling
Stone,
John
Shanks,
producer
to
Kelly
Clarkson,
Michelle
Branch,
Lohan
and,
most
recently,
Simpson,
was
quoted
regarding
his
approach
to
the
process
when
“co-writing”
with
these
girls.
“You
basically
sit
there
and
talk
about
their
lives.”
Simpson’s
first
big
hit
“Pieces
of
Me”
reportedly
came
from
a
comment
she
made
to
Shanks.
“I
have
all
these
sides
to
me,
and
my
boyfriend
doesn’t
understand.”
Three
hours
later
he
and
writing
partner
Kara
DioGuardi
had
written
her
first
hit.
Since
the
pair
of
incidents
occurred,
Simpson
has
often
been
quoted
with
doe-eyed,
hair
twirling-style
that
she
doesn’t
understand
why
she’s
been
targeted
with
intense
and
even
vehement
scrutiny
by
the
media,
fans
and
the
unforgiving
music
intelligentsia.
Beyond
her
devaluing
the
worth
of
pure
artistry,
she
is
also
obviously
a
victim
of
exploitation
by
bloodsuckers
interested
in
how
she
could
be
developed
and
sold.
She’s
been
convinced
by
people
looking
to
cash
in
that
she
is
an
artist,
a
singer,
a
star;
at
some
point
it’s
not
hard
to
see
how
easy
it
is
to
believe
your
own
well-packaged
fable.
But
what
19-year-old
girl
would
say
no
if
asked,
“Would
you
like
to
be a
star?”
It’s
hard
to
blame
her
for
saying
yes.
To
her
credit,
her
debut
record
Autobiography
is
still
better
than
anything
her
famous
big
sister
has
released
…
and
Jessica
can
really
sing.
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